What is messy coping?

A new friend recently asked me what it feels like to be a mother, and an old friend at around the same time asked me how I'm coping.  To the first question, my immediate reaction was - "motherhood is messy".  To the second question, I realized 'coping' is exactly where I am - I'm not thriving, I'm coping.  And so, motherhood is messy coping. 

What does that mean, messy coping?  It's trying your best to focus on one thing at a time.  It's blocking out the crying and wailing when that helps you get that diaper change done or properly wipe that cracker-stained T-shirt.  It's accepting that nothing ever goes to plan and you just have to squeeze out whatever is left of a schedule.  It's focusing on picking up the scattered pieces rather than try to preserve the whole, finished puzzle.  It's being okay with delaying your own recovery time, promising yourself that you will get to it.  And as my husband would say, it's doing things to 80% because that final 20% takes 100+% effort and that doesn't make any sense. 

There's a lot of one foot in front of the other - but perhaps this is just a phase.  Eventually when Maya learns to put one foot in front of the other, maybe we'll walk on.