Gaps make us whole

I've recently come up with a new daily schedule because J and I came to conclude that my not working and not having externally-imposed structure really throws me off.  So we decided it would be helpful for me to come up with a schedule based on things I want to achieve.  Day 2 today - mixed feelings.  I definitely feel a greater sense of self because I am taking time to do things for me, intentionally, and that is so easy to skip past when you're a mami.  At the same time, setting these time slots means I naturally feel lousy when I fail to start at the expected start time.  (And just writing this shows me the vocabulary I use to judge myself - 'fail', 'expected'.)  I've been having terrible headaches for the past week, so today I started my morning activity 45 mins late (and actually yesterday I started my exercise session 40 mins late too); I needed to lie down, but it all just feels like an excuse.  How do I learn to become more flexible, and feel at peace with not doing things in exact ways?  How do I learn to enjoy rather than see where the gaps are?  

Maybe I need the gaps to grow.  If I fill them all, then what's left?  If I 'pack' my life so tightly, maybe there isn't enough room to breathe and I will be exhausted anyway.  Another image just came to mind - floaties need air to float.  That 'empty' space is crucial.