Why I cry

I cry because sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe.  My mind is always a mess and there’s just so much constantly filling it up, that there isn’t really a safe space (and safe time) for me to just feel…safe.  I constantly feel like my bucket of existence is full – partly with joy and laughter and life, but also with pressure and obligations and tension.  All of it together in my bucket of existence leaves me no space to just curl up and be.  I just wish my to-do list can for once be empty.  But I can’t just erase what I have on my to-do list; I have to finish these things and empty the list before I can reach that ‘empty’ goal I have.  But the list keeps growing, and it feels like it will never empty, and I will never breathe again.